How I relate to Relapse

I thank the reader who recently inquired about my well-being,
and congratulate her on being trich-free for 4 MONTHS!!!
(woo-woo, loud applause, whistling)

I am fine. I've been super-busy. I've also created a new blog
on Wordpress that I want to switch over to, but haven't finished
setting that up..and, and, and. Life! I started my own company
this year as well and that's keeping me busy. My husband has
been out of work for 9 months with a baseball-induced head injury
sustained while coaching Little League here (Israel).

I've had a lot of conversations in my head about 'time'. Actually
it is one conversation: "There's not enough time. How will I ever
get X done?" So, in giving that up, I just flow with what's going
on and have become realistic in my scheduling. It's given me a
renewed sense of control over my life. Maybe 'organization' is a better
word.

What's any of this have to do with trich? Everything or nothing. I actually
hadn't thought of it till I sat to write. I think the sense of lack of
control - when life gets into disarray - the plucking returns or intensifies.
Hmmm...

I will reset the timer - though when I went to log in to my account where that counter is the counter was no longer in the account. Nevermind - TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. You may see the counter simply disappear. And reappear on the new blog.

I've tried the EFT - and I believe it could work if I only I could stick to doing it 10 times/per day for the next 30 days as recommended by Gary Craig. That's been my recurring problem - sticking to something long enough to make a go of it?
Like in with some of the home businesses I've started, dancing lessons (as a kid), and so many projects left unfinished.

I was doing really well with the trich - 3, almost 4 months, then slowly it began. I'd start, catch myself and stop. Whew! Ok, I'm in control. I can choose NOT to pluck. Blah, blah, blah (self-talk, self-coaching). ;-)
Then it picks up in intensity. Then we get a phone call from the bank that we have to cover our overdraft - or else! Big time tension leading to a big-time plucking session.

So, I'm reading, watching TV, or at the computer and I'm plucking. I say, "Esti, stop that. What do you choose? Freedom or plucking?" Freedom.
Well, at some point, freedom goes out the window, takes a big long flying leap, and goes splat on the ground below. (no innocent bystanders are injured, nor is property damaged in the making of the imagery).

You know what I'm talking about. It becomes so overwhelming to not be plucking and THINKING about plucking, while thinking about how you're not plucking, but want to pluck - there's just no more room in your head for anything else until you just pluck and get it over with.

And, well, what the heck. It's no so bad. It's just something I DO; it's not WHO I AM. What a big freakin' lie, right?

I laugh at eyebrow-less and eyelash-less self. And they were looking so good, too. But, oh, well. It's not the end of the world, no one dies from it, and on and on with justifications and excuses. And that's just what they are - excuses - for not taking responsibility, for not being my word to myself and to YOU, my reader.

How can I relapse after having made so much progress? My eyelashes were very well grown in and getting beautifully long, my eyebrows were full and I no longer had to worry about swimming, sweating or wiping them off. A nice feeling. A feeling of progress, freedom, achievement. Does it have anything to do with totally giving up something, or completion of the mission of being trich-free? Is it just one more project I don't finish? It's always a work in progress? What insights do you get when reading this. I'd love to get a new perspective on it.

I have let you down in a way. I professed my FREEDOM and was going to lead the way for you to achieve your own. But here we are.

So, I beg your forgiveness and ask that you bear with me and that we stay in this together. Please share what's working for you. Share your breakdowns. Share with us here because we understand what you're dealing with.

My next course of action is to let a friend who just became certified in NLP -Neural Linguistic Programming to treat me by phone. He has also written an article that I will publish tomorrow.

I will begin regular sessions with him and report your progress.

I will once again declare my Freedom, but I will only know if I'm truly free after at least 4 months, maybe 6 months.