Trichotillomania - Common Threads

Wow is all I can say. Everytime I get a response to the blog and read myself in your comments while knowing that my blog may be the first time for some of you to know that there is a name for this condition and that you're not alone - inspires me. I'm inspired by your courage to write and share yourselves with me and with the other readers. I'm inspired by the love and hope you express.

I am one of you, yet so much want to be the inspiration for your own healing.

I am not yet healed. Just the other day I declared to a friend - who is trying to overcome compulsive nail biting - that I felt free of the trich. As soon as I realize I'm not doing it, I start
checking my progress, leading to more and more obsessive behaviors with my lashes. Touching them, noticing the texture, how much they've grown in, that especially thick one there - and then there's that itch - as one recent writer put it - a 'burning' that can only be relieved by plucking.
Once I start, there's no stopping me. Once I've headed down that slope, it only gets slippier and slippier.

The common threads I see, and if you read the comments to my posts you'll see them, too: boredom, anxiety, static or passive activities - that's it.

How do we relieve, or think we're relieving anxiety or boredom by plucking? I know that when I'm over tired- really over, over tired, the plucking takes on a life of its own. But does plucking relieve fatigue, anxiety, boredom or really make us believe that we're being active when we're actually static or passive? No, of course not. Not on a conscious, rational, logical level, anyway.

So why is it so damn hard to give up? I'm not sure.

This email from Abby Leora Rohrer, a self-healed hair puller who's helped thousands like us, may offer you some insights:
"As I mentioned to you in my last message, if your dream is to be pull-free and if you will allow me, I will walk you down the path to ending your hair pulling for good.

The truth is that not every hair puller wants to or is ready to be free--some feel pressured to stop . . . to say they want to, but they really don't. How about you?

My most successful students had a dream of ending their pulling but also realized that they had other troubling things going on besides hair pulling. Some noticed, that no matter how much they achieved, in spite of all their wins, awards or degrees, they just never felt"good enough".

Even with many people in their life who love them, they frequently had a gnawing feeling of loneliness and of being "on the outsidelooking in". They often felt powerless. They were driven to tryto control everything. Some felt drained or lived with lots ofstress and anxiety.

Others felt a constant pinch in their closest relationships and an obsessive quality about their approach to relating. They simply couldn't relax and just be themselves. In the back of their minds they worried about being judged as "less than perfect". They found themselves prone to putting others above them and simplycouldn't see their own value. When others treated them poorly, they were unable to stand up for themselves. They did this with bosses, teachers, and partners. They sometimes even did it with their own children. Their lives often felt hopeless.

These students come from all walks of life, races, religions, genders, professions and orientations. They are moms and dads, some with a terrible fear that their own children will begin pulling -- some have kids who already do. They are doctors, lawyers, successful business owners, young professionals and even a few college students who already have more than 10 years of hairpulling under their belts. Some, but certainly not all, have seemingly "perfect" looking outer lives. They hide everything so well. You'd never-ever know the kind of pain they've lived with.

Just as many people who know youmay have no idea about the constant strain and pressure you live under while trying to appear like everyone else. My most committed students want a LIFE solution every bit as much as a hair pulling solution. Is this you?I know you want your hair, eyebrows or eyelashes back, but my guess is that you also want so much more. You want freedom and peace from your underlying feelings of being "less-than", from your anxiety, from your helpless feelings in relationships, and from your general feelings of powerlessness. Sure, you want control over your hairpulling, but you also want to feel control over your life. Isn't this right?

If you will allow me, I will teach you to end your hair pulling with a solution that addresses all of these other life issues as well. If you will allow me, I will help you reclaim your full power in life. If you will allow me, I will show you exactly how to let go of your inner pain and shame. If you will allow me, I will help you to rediscover both your self-esteem and inner light along with the return of your hair and outer beauty.This kind of transformation takes effort and commitment on your part. If you will allow me, I will walk you down the path to freedom. But, I can only do this if it is truly YOUR dream to befree and if you will allow me to show you how to get there.

My next email will come in just a few days and will provide you with special offers on concrete ways for me to help you end yourhair pulling for good and reclaim your life.

Best Regards,
Abby Leora RohrerFormer Hair Puller,
Now 14+ Years Pull-Free, andTrichotillomania Healing Expert"
My mission is helping people end trichotillomania every day!" '
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The only thing keeping me from joining her full program has been the cost. I know it
would be worth it, but with my husband disabled with a brain injury and no income
from my business yet, I cannot spend the money. As soon as I can afford it, I will do
it. I was considering working with an NLP practitioner or a Kinesiologist. I may yet give
one or both of these a go. I know people for whom hypnotherapy has been successful.

If you can afford to join Abby's full program, you'd be in very good hands.
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Let me know what you think about what Abby wrote in this letter - where do you see yourself?

To Our Healing,
Esti